Rambling Mumbler

Beware, angst ridden post ahead.

I just want a familiar set of arms around me at night. I just want to fall asleep to a steady heartbeat. I just want a guy whose face lights up when he sees me. I just want a guy who wouldn’t mind my nonsensical thoughts. I just want a guy I can pepper with kisses. I just want a guy that I share my most impossible dreams with. I just want a guy that I can confide my worst nightmares with. I just want a guy who treasures my laughter,

who treasures my smile

treasures my quirks

my moods

fears

I want a guy to text good morning to. I want to wake up in anticipation. I want to live everyday with surprises. I want strong hands where I can slip my fingers through. I want lips to daydream about. I want a laugh to echo in my ears all day. I want to that feeling of weightlessness

that feeling where my heart

just swells.

I want to glow again. I want hair to run my fingers through

Jokes to laugh at

Secrets to share

Stories to make

I want a guy where I can relax. I want a guy where my tension fades. I want a guy who isn’t afraid of my tears. I want a guy who I would defend to the end. I want a guy who can appreciate me when I’m broken. 

I want consistent passion

Every night is like our first

Every kiss is like our best

Every touch familiar 

but electric.

I want someone to rent old movies with. I want a guy to cook for. I want to plan surprises and presents for no apparent reason. I want desire. I want spontaneity. I want an anniversary. I want the aimless touch. I want the unspoken messages. 

I want to fight and make up. I want to learn. I want to grow. I want a guy who sees more of me than I do. 

I want walks in the park. I want random adventures with a partner in crime. I want to be that overly sweet couple. I want to fall asleep in his lap in the subway. I want to wipe away the crumbs from his lips. I want hoodies and shirts to steal. I want to find my closet missing clothes. I want his scent that brings me home in an instant. 

I want a guy whose single distressed call puts flight in my feet. I want that unbearable sweetness. I want a face I can trace and draw from memory. I want to know his sweet spots. I want tickle fights. I want mellow nights. I want wild adventures. 

I want to wake up and see his face. I want his warmth to become my own. I want our heartbeats to fall in sync. I want to watch the dawn bring his face out from the darkness. I want a guy to pull closer when it gets cold.

I want to hear “I love you” again.

I want a guy where I can say it back without hesitation.

—

Sigh.

Back to schoolwork.